butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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