Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
third nipple confirmed
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
