We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
