True but thats because hes a fetus.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
