we have officially lost it.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
40s are totally the cure
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize