your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
