I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
