look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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