If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just google imaged poop.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
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