so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
