he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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