brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
