I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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