Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
