Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
