please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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