my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
