Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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