if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
barbara walters just said penis...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
