You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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