It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
