The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
