I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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