You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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