We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize