He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
