I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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