great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
