but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
