well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize