I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
high people should be assigned attendants
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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