Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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