you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
How external is "for external use only"?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize