How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
