am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
