Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
