im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have fence marks all over my body
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
