...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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