Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
