lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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