i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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