in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
