What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
