Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
