to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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