idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
How does one acquire holy water?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
