Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
