We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
