But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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