Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
