I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
