dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Randomize