I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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