In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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