so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
