stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
