are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
