There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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