Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
