it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
did i walk over a car last night?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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