Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it glows. i had to have it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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