i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
