I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize