Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
