Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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