where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
